Bad Fur Day, A Second Chance - Ch. 1

It was another night for Conker the squirrel at The Cock and Plucker. Drinking with his friends, playing darts, seeing who was the best tableclimber. Yep, it was just like any other night.
It had been a year since Conker had become king of the Panther Kingdom, after the death of the mighty Panther King himself. Well, that hadn't exactly gone to plan.
"Come on Conker, tell us again!" the squirrel's drinking buddies hollered at him, their voices jovial and slightly slurred from all the beer they had been drinking "Tell us how they kicked you out of the.....whatsit kingdom!"
Conker gulped down most of his own pint of beer, settled the glass down on the table, and cleared his throat. "Well, I've told you, like, a MILLION times now, but alright, if you REALLY wanna hear the story again...." He took another swig of beer, then started the story.

"It was a dark, stormy night. I was just down here, in this humble little pub, with you guys, having a laugh like we usually do. But when I tried to get home, I got....lost, shall we say? I went the opposite way home, and woke up in a strange field with the worst headache ever and the hangover from hell. It turns out I was in the fabled Panther Kingdom, and boy, what a place that was! I spent one of the worst days of my life there, just trying to get back home to my girlfriend, and my bed. Well, at least I managed to find ONE of the two I just mentioned. Me and Berri managed to find eachother, after a whole lot of madness, and we were recruited to steal a whole lot of money from a Feral Reserve Bank, somewhere in this Panther Kingdom somewhere, I don't really know. Well, turns out it was all this big scam, and the person we were stealing for, that horrible weasel bloke, he was working for the Panther King himself. Oh, and this king wanted to kill me too. Berri, being the sweetheart she is, tried to stand up for me, but...."
Conker paused in his story telling, looking mournfully into his pint glass. His buddies patted him on the back in an act of sympathy. "It's alright, Conker..." they whispered "We know this bit already, mate. Carry on past that, what happened next?"
Conker nodded, getting himself back together for the rest of his story. "Well...." he started, his voice going very dramatic to set the mood "After....that happened, the Panther King wasn't looking too brilliant, and it turned out that his professor-assistant-thingy had planted an alien inside of him, and it burst through his chest, blood and guts going EVERYWHERE! You should have seen it! It was BRILLIANT! It was like something from that alien movie we all went to see, remember, when that alien popped out through the guys chest? Yeah...it was JUST like that! It was so cool!
Anyway, after a whole load of delays, I finally managed to defeat this stupid alien thing, but I'd lost Berri too. I had the chance to get her back....but I lost it..." Conker paused again, but gathered himself together for the final bit of the story. "So, I was crowned the new king of the Panther Kingdom! Sounds excellent, doesn't it? Well, I can tell you now, being surrounded by all the people you hate the most is not a bit excellent. I wanted out, and I was depressed, because I'd lost Berri too. So I was pretty desperate, right? You bet I was. So, I set out to do some research on this old Panther King, and see if he had any other family members that could be the rightful heir to the throne...
It turned out that he DID have another family member after all! He had this...long...lost....cousin, or something, I don't really know, I'm not good with family members. Anyway, I managed to contact him, told him that his precious Panther King was dead, and we needed a replacement king, and FAST. Well, he was over here in a shot, and he was crowned the new King of the Panther Kingdom. Oh, and he wasn't EXACTLY pleased to see me, because he thought I'd STOLEN the throne from him! I know, completely mad, isn't it?! Like I'd WANT to steal that stupid throne! I just wanted to get home! So, as you can imagine, I didn't take too nicely to these accusations, so, eheheh, we got into a bit of an argument, and as soon as he was crowned King, his first royal order was to banish me from that stupid Panther Kingdom. Good riddance to that! Like I'd ever go back to that looneytown! Anyway, that's how I got kicked out of the Panther Kingdom. Hope you enjoyed it!"

The other squirrels cheered and clapped, while Conker smiled and bowed, taking it all in. "I know, I know, I'm amazing, I know it!" he grinned, sitting back down at the table, and downing the last of his pint. "Alright fellas, whose round is it now? It can't be mine, I already went up just a few minutes ago! Come on, who's the poor sod going up then?"
Nobody replied, as they were too busy eyeing up a girl sitting on the table opposite theirs. "Hey, HELLO?!" Conker asked impatiently, waving his hands in front of their drunken faces "Can you goons hear me?! I SAID, WHO'S GOING- MMMMMMMMMMMPH!!!!"
"Shut your trap Conker!" one of the squirrels hissed, clamping his sweaty hand over Conker's mouth. "Look at the dame sitting over there! Ain't she a beauty?"
Conker prised the squirrel's fingers off of his muzzle, and looked over to where they were staring. Indeed, there was a girl sitting on the opposite table, a half-empty pint glass in her hand. She had dark brown fur, with gleaming emerald eyes that shone in the dim light of the bar. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, but it looked scraggly and unkept. She was hunched over, wearing a long black coat to hide herself, and large, black boots, covered in mud.
Conker snorted at his buddies insolence. She wasn't pretty at all! She looked like she belonged on the streets. They must be so drunk that their eyesight was decieving them, fooling them into thinking she was the prettiest girl in all of the world.
"Oh yeah SUUUUUUUUUUUURE, she's definately a sight all right!" Conker replied, one eyebrow raised in skepticism "Come on guys, I think it's best you all got home to bed, you're gonna need it, trust me!"
But the squirrels grew more excited instead of calming down, much to Conker's annoyance.
"We should go talk to her!"
"Yeah!"
"Go talk to her then!"
"No fear! She won't like ME!"
"You go talk to her then!"
"Nooooooooo, she won't like me either!"
"How about you then?!"
"I've got a girlfriend, you halfwit!"
"Well, who CAN go talk to her?!"

Everyone fell silent. They turned to the red squirrel standing at the head of the table with expectant looks on their wasted faces.
Conker looked at each of them, slightly confused. Then it suddenly dawned on him what they wanted him to do. "Oh no, no no no no no!" he protested bitterly "I ain't talking to her for you!" "Oh come oooooooooon!" the other squirrels chorused, pushing Conker towards the table "Go flirt with her! See if she's interested!" "I said NO!" Conker growled, brushing away their sturdy hands and walking back to his table "I don't WANT to flirt with another girl! I'm not ready!" He crossed his arms across his chest and looked away, muttering to himself angrily. "Ah, come on Conker!" one of his mates persuaded, giving him the puppy-dog eye look "Please mate? It'll be fun! We'll have a laugh, right?" Conker looked up, straight into his mate's face. He DID have a point, and it WOULD be pretty funny to go chat up a lady. "Oh alright then!" Conker replied, grinning at them all. The squirrels whooped and cheered, as Conker strode confidently over to the opposite table.

"Hey lady, looking for a good time?"
The squirrel girl took one look at Conker, eyeing him up and down with her emerald green eyes.
"No. Piss off."
The squirrels at the other table whooped in delight, while Conker took a few steps back, shocked to hear such words come out of this seemingly harmless girl. "E-Excuse me?!" he asked again in surprise. "You heard me." the squirrel girl responded, narrowing her eyes into an icy stare "Clear off, you're not wanted over here."
Conker stood his ground, and stepped forwards. "What if I want to stand here?!" he asked her, narrowing his sky blue eyes at her in an equally dangerous stare. "Look, we ALL know why you're here!" The squirrel girl retaliated "You've come to find yourself a lady to have some fun with. Well, you're looking in the wrong place, mate. Go find some prep who WANTS to be messed about with, then clear off. You sodding squirrels, you're ALL the same! Go on, off with ya!"
The squirrels on the opposite table started laughing in that stupid manner that is infuriatingly annoying. Conker flushed a shade of red, out of embarrassment. "Hey, NO-ONE talks to me like that!" he snarled "Come on, co-operate with me here! I'm just trying to please my mates!"
The squirrel girl slammed her pint glass down on the table with great force, and stood up. Conker could see that her eyes were bloodshot, like she'd been crying. "You disgusting PIG!" she yelled, not caring that half the pub was looking at her now "Co-operate?! You squirrel men make me SICK! You and all your lousy friends! I bet you haven't even GOT a girlfriend, have you?! Not if you treat all ladies like this! You're SICKENING!" With that, the squirrel girl seized her pint glass, threw what was left of her drink at Conker's face, and pushed past him, storming out of the pub.

The whole pub erupted into whoops and calls, some people even laughing at the beer-drenched squirrel. Conker spluttered, wiping the sour liquid from his face.

Well. That could've gone better.

"Awwwwwww, Conker mate!" The squirrels called out, coming over to drag him back to the table they were sitting at. They surrounded him as he walked back, clapping him on the back and dusting of his bright blue hoodie in an act of sympathy. They sat him back down at the table, handing him a fresh pint of beer, and chanting words of kindness in an attempt to make the red squirrel feel better.
"She wasn't that great,anyway!"
"Stupid tart, didn't know who she was dealing with!"
"I bet she lives on the street corners in a little cardboard box!"
"Come on mate, drink your pint, that'll cheer you up!"

"Thanks, guys..." Conker sighed in reply, shaking himself of any remaining beer that was still clinging to his fur. He rested his chin on his hand, and stared deeply into his pint of beer.

Somehow, he wasn't thirsty anymore.